Hello world and blogging

3 years have gone since i posted anything! A whole damn 3 years.. So in the next few weeks i will be doing 3 big posts of events and things that have happened.. Watch this space

Confidence in your partner and relationship..

This post will probably trigger connections to your life, it's my hope that after reading it you'll view things in a different way and apply the advice for the betterment of your relationship. 

The person you're seeing is an A candidate. Everyone says they are the perfect person and everyone adores both of you as a couple. But are you really happy? Or you're in it because you feel its the right thing? At least that's what common sense tells you. Or perhaps you live by men's rules that when something that the world sees as perfect comes your way then in did it's "perfect". 

Can there be a person who offers 100% of our needs? We hold on in the hopes that the person will change or things will get better. As time passes you develop deep emotional attachments with your partner. Those issues that you don't like about your partner will still be there but now you're too deep in it to let go or express your concerns about it. "The quicksand effect".. 

What acts chipper an affectionate bond? At least according to me.. "Keep involved with your partner". Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there. "Conflict resolution". Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel free to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without embarrassment, degradation or insisting on being right. 

"Keeping outside relationships and interests alive". No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on your relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too. The healthy kind of friends and interests ;-) "Communicating." Honest, direct communication is an essential part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—are critical to communication.

Confidence in your relationship and partner equates to a very healthy and successful relationship

Being Perfect

Enroute from Roben Island, Cape Town. Picture by Dennis Tsanga

Its a fact, absolutely nobody is perfect... But correcting your mistakes, that's perfection! Everyday should present itself as your opportunity to be better.. It starts with a positive attitude, a smile, a greeting... A good deed that puts a smile on someones face will in turn make your heart smile. Try it

Peace of Mind

Luderitz Namibia. Picture by Dennis Tsanga

One thing is certain in life, its never too late to say sorry, well unless of course the person whom you wronged is no longer among the living. Make peace with people you've wronged and perhaps felt too proud to apologize to or just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

A clear conscience is but one of life's greatest "priceless" achievements. Having peace of mind is one less problem to the issues we face everyday. No matter how long it has been, just find it in you to apologize. There's no guarantees on the audience you will get, but irrespective of it being positive or negative, you will definitely feel better knowing that you did.

Be a better you

No matter what the future brings, it will always bring you the opportunity to make a positive difference. No matter what may happen, you can always respond with integrity and positive purpose.

You can apply the very best of your wisdom and experience to the situations in which you have influence. And you can adjust and adapt to those situations over which you have little or no control.

There’s no point in worrying about the future, because your worry will not cause anything positive to happen. Instead, focus on making good and valuable use of the time you have right now, to grow stronger, more capable, more knowledgeable and experienced.

Position yourself so you can find and bring to life the positive value that exists in every situation. Prepare yourself to successfully move forward even in the face of challenge, frustration and uncertainty.

The way to assure a better future is to be a better you, right here and right now. The strength you build within your own life is a powerful tool you can use to create prosperity and fulfillment in any environment.

Every moment is an opportunity to add to that strength by living with love, gratitude, authenticity and positive purpose. Do what it takes to be a better you right now, and build a better world in the days, months and years to come.

How to deal with love, friendship and heartaches

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.. you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. " - Unknown..

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love although they've been hurt before, and to those who have the courage to build trust again. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright." - Unknown..

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to all the things you want to do.Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless.


It hurts to love someone and not be loved back.. But what is more painfull is to love someone and never have the guts to let that person know how you feel about them.. Maybe its the dynamics of relationships that you meet a few wrong people before you might the right one so that when the right one comes you will be greatful and love them with all we have..

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart. Never say good-bye if you still want to try..

How to overcome exam phobia\blues

by Dennis T. Tsanga


Everybody gets worked up, especially students, teachers, and even parents. Who amongst them are most affected is hard to say, because it differs, based on the mental make-up of each of them. This is the season of advice, which students get unsolicited from all corners. Caught in the vortex of the collective frenzy, any student will be at the end of his tether. How can a student overcome this exam-phobia and face it calmly, and confidently, and come out not just unscathed, but really victorious?

To begin with, we must all know that hypersensitivity to anything is not desirable, and that includes exams. Being too anxious, concerned or worried is not a state of mind suitable for exams. The best state of mind is a quiet confidence that is borne out by adequate preparation to face the exam. Undue anxiety is counter-productive. Fear, more imaginary than real will sap the energy that is to be used for intelligent learning. Stress, up to a certain level acts as a motivation to study. But undue stress can bog you down like things happening in your family, girlfriend or boyfriend drama etc.. There are cases of students who become too nervous during exams. They cut down on their sleep and food, and get into a desperate mode of study. These are likely to be dangerous. The human brain functions best when the mind is calm and the body is healthy. Giving up sleep and food in the run up to the exam is a recipe for disaster. (true story, i bet most of you are surprised because you probably sleep late trying to put in as much as you can which isnt bad, but use a timetable for your reading to keep it balanced mabharanzi lol)

A well-planned schedule and a steady routine, aided by a calm mind, provide the best backdrop for effective preparation for exams. Start studying. No work will be done, unless it is started. Extending the same logic, we can say that any work will be done if it is started. So the important first step is to start studying. Once you start, you get interested, and you become more confident and more interested. Do not ever look back.

Now, the question is, what should be done. Concentrate on what remains to be done, and how best you can do it. Thus the crucial question that makes the whole difference is `getting started'. Performing well in exams does not necessarily mean that the student is more intelligent than the others. More often than not, it is because they have a better sense of planning and organisation about their study. (some of you weekend in weekend out are ever busy at Chez VIP, Monaco, Cheers, LaaDeeDas R, Pamuzinda, Visions etc, which aint bad becuase hey, we all have and need a social life, but then don't over do it..) In other words they are better organised. Such people take into account the time available, consider the relative difficulty level of each subject, and allot a time frame for each subject.

During `study holidays' as they are popularly known, a timetable has to be drawn up by every student. This self-drawn timetable should be religiously observed. A student's earnestness is best tested in the observance of this timetable. A student who is truthful to his/her own timetable will be successful.

You need a frame of mind to study well. Effective study calls for absolute concentration. This requires a thorough cleaning up of your mind. Do steer clear of all those unwanted, unhelpful thoughts, which take away your attention while trying to study like "Proffessor coming to town", "free booze at a friends party", "Timbaland at Borrowdale race course" "boyfriend\girlfriend coming over for the whole night for some .... umm bumping and grinding" lol . While TV viewing is a good pastime, it is the most dangerous distracter for a student preparing for an exam. Students can make a list of distracters and vow to keep them at bay. One example would be long telephone conversations with friends. Study holidays are meant for serious individual effort.

In most of the cases, combined studies end up as combined chat sessions eg.. "heee dude i banged that chic" "hey girl that dude dumped me".. "did you watch E! last night"... However, there is no harm in seeking clarifications from friends or teachers, when a real need arises. Sharing of information and discussion of topics are certainly good academic exercises, but not on the eve of the exams when time is at a premium. Those who own computers with an Internet connection ought to be on their guard. Internet, though a veritable source of valuable information, has chances to distract youth. Avoid Internet like a plague during the exam season.

The time, duration and place of study are also matters of personal choice. What is very important, however, is choosing a calm and quiet place, conducive to serious study, and absolute concentration, away from all possible distractions. Some students want to study behind closed doors. This is not a good idea, because chances are that one sleeps off, or goes on to some other distracters. In any case, even if you are in your own study room, do not lock the door. One must study for a few hours and then take a short break and relax. It is very important that one relaxes now and then, especially when one grows weary and tired.

Reading and writing should go hand-in-hand while preparing for exams. A subject like maths particularly is not to be read like other subjects. Problems in maths will have to be worked out, again and again to learn them thoroughly. Note making for other subjects has several advantages. The notes will be of great help on the eve of the exam, when one will not have time to read the entire portion. Note making also helps keep one's mind on tract. Writing practice helps acquire speed when appearing for the exams. The human mind is very capricious. It can just refuse to toe the line, and has the tendency to wander off. One of the methods to hold the mind's attention on a given task is to read aloud. It is the best mnemonic (memory skill) device. Loud reading, however, should not become a habit, to the total exclusion of silent reading. When there are other children also studying at home, reading aloud can pose problems, and in that case reading may have to be regulated by restricting the time or changing the location of reading. Repetition can obviously be wearisome, but necessary. Preparing for exams is basically an exercise in repetition. The more we read, the more we absorb. The more we write, the stronger our memory. Reading, writing, and memorising over and over again are the only means to perform better in exams.

Whether we like it or not, exams are here to stay, and memory has tremendous value in exams. The only sensible option is to face them head-on, by studying well, and repeatedly, with a self-imposed punishing schedule, till every part of the syllabus is at our fingertips. When we reach that stage, or near about it, we will become confident. Let us not forget that exams are a test of our confidence, as much as it is that of our knowledge.

"Nothing succeeds like success." For this, the very first condition is the will to succeed. We need to have the determination to succeed against all odds, a desire to perform the best in the exams. An unshakable determination followed up with unflinching perseverance is the secret behind the success of every individual. There is no shortcut to success, except hard work.

Every serious student must be prepared to put in real hard work for the exams. It is a fact that the human brain can be most receptive during pressing circumstances, like exams. It can receive vast amounts of knowledge and retain them. The brain co-operates very well. Why don't you co-operate too? It is never too late, if only you started. So start now