How to deal with love, friendship and heartaches

"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.. you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. " - Unknown..

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

"Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love although they've been hurt before, and to those who have the courage to build trust again. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright." - Unknown..

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to all the things you want to do.Always put yourself in other's shoes. If you feel it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person too. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless.


It hurts to love someone and not be loved back.. But what is more painfull is to love someone and never have the guts to let that person know how you feel about them.. Maybe its the dynamics of relationships that you meet a few wrong people before you might the right one so that when the right one comes you will be greatful and love them with all we have..

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart. Never say good-bye if you still want to try..

How to overcome exam phobia\blues

by Dennis T. Tsanga


Everybody gets worked up, especially students, teachers, and even parents. Who amongst them are most affected is hard to say, because it differs, based on the mental make-up of each of them. This is the season of advice, which students get unsolicited from all corners. Caught in the vortex of the collective frenzy, any student will be at the end of his tether. How can a student overcome this exam-phobia and face it calmly, and confidently, and come out not just unscathed, but really victorious?

To begin with, we must all know that hypersensitivity to anything is not desirable, and that includes exams. Being too anxious, concerned or worried is not a state of mind suitable for exams. The best state of mind is a quiet confidence that is borne out by adequate preparation to face the exam. Undue anxiety is counter-productive. Fear, more imaginary than real will sap the energy that is to be used for intelligent learning. Stress, up to a certain level acts as a motivation to study. But undue stress can bog you down like things happening in your family, girlfriend or boyfriend drama etc.. There are cases of students who become too nervous during exams. They cut down on their sleep and food, and get into a desperate mode of study. These are likely to be dangerous. The human brain functions best when the mind is calm and the body is healthy. Giving up sleep and food in the run up to the exam is a recipe for disaster. (true story, i bet most of you are surprised because you probably sleep late trying to put in as much as you can which isnt bad, but use a timetable for your reading to keep it balanced mabharanzi lol)

A well-planned schedule and a steady routine, aided by a calm mind, provide the best backdrop for effective preparation for exams. Start studying. No work will be done, unless it is started. Extending the same logic, we can say that any work will be done if it is started. So the important first step is to start studying. Once you start, you get interested, and you become more confident and more interested. Do not ever look back.

Now, the question is, what should be done. Concentrate on what remains to be done, and how best you can do it. Thus the crucial question that makes the whole difference is `getting started'. Performing well in exams does not necessarily mean that the student is more intelligent than the others. More often than not, it is because they have a better sense of planning and organisation about their study. (some of you weekend in weekend out are ever busy at Chez VIP, Monaco, Cheers, LaaDeeDas R, Pamuzinda, Visions etc, which aint bad becuase hey, we all have and need a social life, but then don't over do it..) In other words they are better organised. Such people take into account the time available, consider the relative difficulty level of each subject, and allot a time frame for each subject.

During `study holidays' as they are popularly known, a timetable has to be drawn up by every student. This self-drawn timetable should be religiously observed. A student's earnestness is best tested in the observance of this timetable. A student who is truthful to his/her own timetable will be successful.

You need a frame of mind to study well. Effective study calls for absolute concentration. This requires a thorough cleaning up of your mind. Do steer clear of all those unwanted, unhelpful thoughts, which take away your attention while trying to study like "Proffessor coming to town", "free booze at a friends party", "Timbaland at Borrowdale race course" "boyfriend\girlfriend coming over for the whole night for some .... umm bumping and grinding" lol . While TV viewing is a good pastime, it is the most dangerous distracter for a student preparing for an exam. Students can make a list of distracters and vow to keep them at bay. One example would be long telephone conversations with friends. Study holidays are meant for serious individual effort.

In most of the cases, combined studies end up as combined chat sessions eg.. "heee dude i banged that chic" "hey girl that dude dumped me".. "did you watch E! last night"... However, there is no harm in seeking clarifications from friends or teachers, when a real need arises. Sharing of information and discussion of topics are certainly good academic exercises, but not on the eve of the exams when time is at a premium. Those who own computers with an Internet connection ought to be on their guard. Internet, though a veritable source of valuable information, has chances to distract youth. Avoid Internet like a plague during the exam season.

The time, duration and place of study are also matters of personal choice. What is very important, however, is choosing a calm and quiet place, conducive to serious study, and absolute concentration, away from all possible distractions. Some students want to study behind closed doors. This is not a good idea, because chances are that one sleeps off, or goes on to some other distracters. In any case, even if you are in your own study room, do not lock the door. One must study for a few hours and then take a short break and relax. It is very important that one relaxes now and then, especially when one grows weary and tired.

Reading and writing should go hand-in-hand while preparing for exams. A subject like maths particularly is not to be read like other subjects. Problems in maths will have to be worked out, again and again to learn them thoroughly. Note making for other subjects has several advantages. The notes will be of great help on the eve of the exam, when one will not have time to read the entire portion. Note making also helps keep one's mind on tract. Writing practice helps acquire speed when appearing for the exams. The human mind is very capricious. It can just refuse to toe the line, and has the tendency to wander off. One of the methods to hold the mind's attention on a given task is to read aloud. It is the best mnemonic (memory skill) device. Loud reading, however, should not become a habit, to the total exclusion of silent reading. When there are other children also studying at home, reading aloud can pose problems, and in that case reading may have to be regulated by restricting the time or changing the location of reading. Repetition can obviously be wearisome, but necessary. Preparing for exams is basically an exercise in repetition. The more we read, the more we absorb. The more we write, the stronger our memory. Reading, writing, and memorising over and over again are the only means to perform better in exams.

Whether we like it or not, exams are here to stay, and memory has tremendous value in exams. The only sensible option is to face them head-on, by studying well, and repeatedly, with a self-imposed punishing schedule, till every part of the syllabus is at our fingertips. When we reach that stage, or near about it, we will become confident. Let us not forget that exams are a test of our confidence, as much as it is that of our knowledge.

"Nothing succeeds like success." For this, the very first condition is the will to succeed. We need to have the determination to succeed against all odds, a desire to perform the best in the exams. An unshakable determination followed up with unflinching perseverance is the secret behind the success of every individual. There is no shortcut to success, except hard work.

Every serious student must be prepared to put in real hard work for the exams. It is a fact that the human brain can be most receptive during pressing circumstances, like exams. It can receive vast amounts of knowledge and retain them. The brain co-operates very well. Why don't you co-operate too? It is never too late, if only you started. So start now

So how do you measure success? Is there such a thing as a finishing line?

By Dennis T. Tsanga

Quite often in life, as you are growing.. everything seems and feels ok.. You need not worry about anything because its the sole responsibility of your  care-givers, parents, guardians... You sit in a classroom next to your pal, same guy you live in a street with, a girl who's parents are friends with your parents.. All different perspectives... Never knowing what you're going to amount to in life... Quite often this would be regarded as the norm but one would ask.. At what stage does one start taking it seriously... Whats the recipe to achieving greatness.. What really happens that the same guy you sat with in class amounts to something bigger than you achieve... Can you catch up? How does he get to levels higher than you have..

Fact: In life there's not such thing as a finish line... Everyday that comes brings different objectives.. First thing one needs to do is define who they wanna be, what they want to "achieve" in life.. Highlight the milestones\objectives and how to get there.. And work towards building that like lego blocks.. Time lost is never regained... One needs to be cautious about making uninformed decisions.. In the road to success a lot of obstacles and speed humps exist.. Alcohol, wrong choice of friends, bad relationships.. One needs to understand and know how to deal with such up-comings. Habitually, its orthodox of us to say "..if only i knew.. or ask yourself what you was i thinking..." Dont dwell in cursing, or regretting things that have passed because that is time you could be using to do something productive and moving towards the future and being wiser not to make the same mistakes..

Everything takes time to happen.. be patient enough. Success if never achieved over night.. Do not confuse success with money that comes by "chance" like winning the lotto.. Surely you can win a million dollars but what are you going to do with that million dollars? Some will buy property, some will "invest the money".. which are all not bad choices but the educated answer would be asking yourself how to make that 1 million become 2 million dollars.. And the race begins.. What does it take...?